Letter to my younger self: Kelly Smith

Dear Kelly, 

One day you’ll let your hair grow long, because you won’t have to pretend to be a boy just to be allowed to play football – and you’ll be a big part of this change.

Right now, I know your feet hurt because your football boots are a size too small. Mum and Dad can’t afford adult sizes, but absolutely nothing will stop you playing football. Hang in there – it’ll all be worth it, I promise.

In fact, when you’re grown up and painting your toenails in the cab on the way to an event, you’ll joke about how your toes are all bent because of those boots. But you’ll love your feet the way they are because by then you’ll know they carried you to four European Championships, two World Cups and the 2012 Olympics, held in London, where you’ll just have moved back to.  

Embrace the journey ahead. You’ll play plenty of games in boots that fit (even if the kit doesn’t) – 117 times for your country to be exact, and 112 times for Arsenal, more than 130 appearances for one US college and four US clubs (yes, America!).

That move across the pond to play football when you’re 17 will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Moving away means you’ll no longer have Mum and Dad on the sidelines to drown out parents of the opposition shouting stuff like: ‘Break her legs!’ You’ll hear what they’re saying, but it’ll never stop you playing. You know you were born for it. Deep down, you know those awful comments are because you’re a girl playing better than their sons and they can’t handle it.

And when you retire, and the Lionesses call you their hero and role model, you’ll realise what a huge part you played in giving girls equal access to the beautiful game. In England, teenage girls won’t have to wrench themselves away from everything they know and love and move to America to play professionally, and that’s partly down to you and the fact that you never gave up. 

Proud moments are ahead of you: 130 goals for Arsenal, 76 for Seton Hall in New Jersey, US and 46 for England. Seton Hall will retire your jersey in your honour, which is rare and very special. And you’ll hang up your international boots as England’s top goal-scorer!

You’ll even be featured as a legend in the world’s biggest football video game – a game that your son plays. You’ll return to Arsenal Women, coaching their strikers to be some of the best in the league. They’ll play at some of England’s biggest stadiums whilst your wife, son and daughter watch proudly from the stands.

The world of football might not seem to be set up for you right now, but that’ll change and your story will be celebrated by women and girls everywhere.

Love,

Kelly x